Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Old Me

Another 2 weeks have passed since my last entry. If you remember what I typed in the very last paragraph of it, I said I’ma take a step back and “review” the sole purpose of this cyberspace of mine.

Well. I came to a conclusion. I chose to return to the sole purpose of this place. Rant, but in a different way. For things that I’ve spouted for the past year on Motivator and his buncha cronies, let it be gone with the wind. Yea. He doesn’t worth the space, the time, the energy of mine in here.

Got a big one here that I’d like to share with ya’ll though.

I’m sure all my readers are a card member yourself. Regardless of the card type, you are an owner of a plastic issued by financial institution. There will be times that you really need to speak to someone, a human voice, non-machine operated voice system to clear things up, there will be time that you just can’t figure out why on earth is this entry bloody appearing in your monthly statement. Hence, the job of customer service are available all across the globe.

The below is an excerpt of a conversation that one of my dear friends has encountered recently that will really ticks you off. Trust me, it will. Enough with bullshit, let’s get this thing rollin’.

A: Agent
C: Caller

*The call opening & verification bullshit are a must in this industry, so I’ll just skip it*

C: I want to have the imposed fees being written off immediately.
A: Of course......*was abruptly ended by caller*
C: How dare you impose such fees onto my account?! You do not know who you’re dealing with here. You DO NOT know at all. Do you know am i? Do YOU know who am i?!
A:*checking client’s profile in the system*Yes Mr C, you’re the vice-president of the company.
C: Owh, don’t even mentioned it. It’s just a mere title. I don’t care about that at all.*then why on the flying-fuck did you asked at the first place?!*
A: ...........
C: Tell me, do you drive?
A: No.*in actual fact, this agent does drive.*
C: No wonder. Keep sitting your big bloody fat ass on that seat you’re having now. You’re just an ordinary, worthless scum agent working in a multi-national company, earning peanuts monthly. You have no rights to do this to me. In the end, you’ll be a failure in your life, a disgrace to your family. I feel shame on your family’s behalf.
A: Mr C, we are both educated people. I will help you if we were to discuss over the issue at hand rationally……… * was abruptly ended by caller….again…fucking hell?!*
C: So?? I’m your customer. You did wrong, I’m entitled to vent my disappointment and frustration over the shitty service that you’ve provided me, and don’t Mr Mr me…I’m not done yet. How come I never receive any statement so far??
A:*checking records while this bugger kept on with his antics over the phone* Mr C, your card account has been enrolled into paperless statement.
C: WHAT!!!!!???? Since when?? I never asked for this!!! I never opted for this!!!! I did not enroll into this AT AAAALLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!
A:*if only there’s a sharp object around, this caller is dead on spot* Erm, your account has been enrolled into paperless since the day you apply for the card.
C: No! No! No! No! No! You’re wrong. I didn’t do it. I don’t know who did it but I didn’t authorize anyone from your company to do it. Seriously, your company is making my life a living hell. I’m still wondering why did I apply for your card at the first place.
A: ..........
C: I don’t know what you do. I don’t care what you do. I’m interested in how you do it. You better fix this for me immediately. I WANT PAPER STATEMENT TO BE MAILED TO MY DOORSTEP EVERY MONTH!!!!!! YOU HEAR ME?!?!?!? I WANT PAPER STATEMENT!!! *this motherfucker got a real brain problem. Can't even fix your own financial stuff, and putting the blame onto the agent. So much so for a Vice President. Pffft*
A:OK. It’s done and effective after tonite. You will be receiving PAPER STATEMENT in your next month’s statement.
C: Jesus Christ. The hell have I gotten myself into. Piece o’ shit.
A:*normal call closing bullshit*
C: Not anymore. The damage is done. There’s nothing much you can do for me anyway. Only thing you can do is improve yourself as a human being in your life and stop being a burden to your family and to this society. Bye.

Now, tell me this: How many of you can take this in? How long would you be able to withstand these constant verbal assaults, which somehow got your family and yourself dragged in??

This guy would’ve been drop dead on sight the moment he hang up the line on me. I gotta admit, I’m quite temperamental if things go against me without a valid reason. I’ll go berserk if things go haywire and I’ve no idea why is that so. Since this is my kingdom, I’ll give this motherfucker a piece of my very own warning. If that warning is not being heeded, I’ll hang up the line on this piece of worthless garbage.

Here’s an alternative to the conversation above if I were to get to that stage when the above agent somehow “warned” the caller:

M: Yours truly
C: Caller

M: Mr C, we’re civilized and educated people. Please allow me to settle your problem once and for all here. I can’t do much with you [insert your own choice of words here] me.
C: *kept on and on and on and on*
M: Mr C, again. I strongly urge you to mind your language here as we’re all civilized people.
C:*kept on and on and on and on*
M: Mr C, I’m repeating myself here. Please, do mind your language as we’re all educated and I’d like to have your issue resolved once and for all.
C:*kept on and on and on and on*
M: Apologies Mr C. I’m afraid I have to hang up your line. Perhaps you can call us back when you have calm down, then we can talk and resolve your issues at and rationally. *hang up line*

Easy? Hopefully for ya’ll. But I’ve done this before, and I clearly remember ‘twas 15minutes after I dragged my sorry ass into the office, into my own cubical, my own “kingdom”, and this type of call has gotta my first call of the day. And I thought to myself: what a great way to start my day.

There’s a fine line in between customer service and personal abuse. Be clear on this. I’m not advocating you gotta do this e-ve-ry single time you come to this state, but at least get your immediate supervisor’s acknowledgement prior doing so. Let them know of the situation. There may be ramification/aftermath if such is done without ‘em knowing it.

Then again, I always uphold this motto throughout my entire life *sounds so old, damn* in this industry:

Whoever put the phone down first, is the loser.

It’s just some kinda psychology effect I have to myself, to sooth myself so that I won’t be a mad man cursing aloud in the office right after one nasty call. Although I stil do it every now and then.

There. A post that has been sorely missed since god-fucking-knows when. This is supposed to be the real content of my blog, the real purpose of me started this blog. It’s back! I’m back! I’ll be posting another interesting story tomorrow, a story that happened earlier today.

I promise.

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