Saturday, January 10, 2009

Phone/Call Routing

Afternoon folks. It’s a weekend today, and I’m in the office. U shouldn’t be wondering why am I stil doing in the office right now if you were to follow my blog since day 1. Yeap, I’m on shift FFS! What am I gonna blog today then? Read on, my comrades, and u will find out.

Now, does anyone has any idea how does a phone/call routing system works in a call centre? Some of you might have a clear idea on that, some of u might not have a single idea on what am I talking about here. Now, allow the humble me to clear the clouds for u.

When a call comes in, normally, by right, it should go to a call centre agent that has been on ‘idle’ mode for the longest time ever. Be it 1 minute, 2 minutes, or whoever that hasn’t got a call for the longest time so far. What’s ‘idle’ mode then? Lemme explain all kinda mode that we have available in this shithole call center that I’m in now.

Ready/Auto-in: This is the button that you’ll start receiving all the bastards & bitches that call in during the business hours making noises.

After Call Work: Temporary break for your own good.

TimeOut: Most commonly used button for my liking. Smoke break, wee-wee and poo-poo break all in one button. As my comrades call it ‘ Illegal Break’.

Aux Mode: A specific code needed to be able to do whatever shit outstanding that you have on your hand. The code has to be entered into the phone system.

Meeting: Pretty straight forward for this one. When you’re out for a meeting/training, this is the button that u should be pressing. Also can be used alternatively with 'Timeout', whichever u prefer.

Logout: End of your shift. All hell break loose. Time-to-get-yourself-outta-shithole button.

Idle: After u press Ready/Auto-in, no calls coming in. The duration in between no call til the moment u get a call is what we normally named it “Idle”.

OK. Explanation shit’s over. Onwards to my story.

Like I said earlier, calls that are coming in normally will go to the agent that is on Idle mode for the longest time. But this aint the case in my office. U might be wondering why. I’m puzzled as well. Lemme explain this to u in ‘simple english’ term.

There are 4 people working in the morning shift during the weekend. Let’s say the shift starts at 7am. From 7am onwards, if I’m lucky, I will be able to sleep soundlessly with all the snoring til 11am without receiving a single GODDAMN call! Strange eh? Whilst the other 3 might be getting calls on & off on a ‘rotation’ basis. Strange again eh?

The same thing, let’s switch to midnight shift then. Again, 3 people working over midnight. Highly likely that only one person will be getting all the calls throughout the midnight shift while the other 2 will be having their own concert in the office as in snoring competition with both their mouth wide open, & salivas dripping off their stinking, full-with-cigarette-smell-mouth. Imagine this situation if there’s only 2 persons working during the midnight then. That unlucky agent will be cursing like there’s no tomorrow whilst the other agent will be having the time of his/her life sleeping soundly.

Again, strange eh? Don’t ask me why. I have no fucking idea AT ALL!! This is what happen to me the other day when there were only 2 of us working. I got a call at 5 in the morning & wanted to ask him something on customer enquiries.

ME: me la
B: my midnight partner

ME: Bro, wake up bro. Wanna ask u something.
B: *snores*
ME: Woi! Wake up! There’s a call on my line. I’m having hard time here. Need your help!
B: *snore even louder*
ME: ........... #^!&v+#$!%&!#@!!!!!!!!

I ended up solving the call on my own. Right after this call, I received 3-4 calls consecutively. While my midnight partner snored even louder than before, all the way til the shift ends. GODDAMNIT!!!!!! DON’T THESE BASTARDS/BITCHES CALLERS EVER SLEEP?!?!?!?

Another thing, if you ever just got back from your break/training/meeting and the moment you login/Ready/Auto-in you terminal. Straight away those calls will be bombarding your place instead of the others who are sitting next you. How stupid can this be? MGCH! I just got back from break/training/meeting, once I put on Ready/Auto-in mode, I got few calls consecutively while there're few colleagues of mine chatting away?!? What?! Do they not getting the same salary as I am?! What DA FUCK IS THIS?!?!? The management seriously need to look into this matter. But everytime, their reply is the same - ' We can't do anything.' WHAT!? Then what the fuck are u doing in that big, fat room of yours, sitting your big, fat ass down that big fat comfy chair?! Stupid marthaphuckers!!!!!!

Now, tell me: Is there something wrong with phone/call routing system in my workplace?

1 comment:

  1. yes, those MOTHER FUCKERS are just sitting in their room jerking their cocks off!

    last weekend, there were 3 of us doing morning shift, and when I already took 23 calls, the other 2 reps only took 5 and 2 calls respectively. Who heard my pain? Who felt my anger?

    having heard ur part of stories, I'm more pissed. Whenever I do morning shifts on weekdays, they put me on BRAND skills and assign me BRAND lunch schedule, but I FUCKING GET ALL THE PLATINUM & CHARTER CALLS ON TOP OF BRAND CALLS. In simpler words, I get all the goddamned calls, while the 'Plat-Skilled' reps are FUCKING FREE all the time!

    Now is this fair to me? And I was just so lucky to receive fewer calls YESTERDAY ONLY, and I got DIU'ed by two slightly-few-more-calls-than-me fellas. Mahai, when I was inundated with calls, I got DIU 7 you guys or not? NO, right? I don't diu gao 7 you guys cos I know it ain't your fault! Then stop diu-gao-7'ing me and unite and turn your gunpoint at the right person ie MANAGEMENT!

    Waaaa....what a relief

    *CSM* I know who you are... hiak hiak hiak

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